San Diego County Sheriff’s Department

9621 Ridgehaven Court • San Diego, CA 92123

SOLUTIONS FOR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

Be honest with yourself…is this you?

HITTING, PUNCHING, YELLING, KICKING, RAPING, CALLING THEM A FAILURE, SLAPPING, THREATENING, MOCKING, STRANGLING, STALKING, ISOLATING, FORCING, MANIPULATING, SPITTING, TELLING THEM THEY ARE STUPID, WHAT TO WEAR, WHO THEY CAN SEE, IF THEY CAN WORK, CONTROL THEIR MONEY, BURNING THEM WITH A CIGARETTE, GIVING “THAT LOOK” TO CONTROL THEM

Here’s what you can do to break that cycle:

  • Stop using abuse of any form (physical, sexual, controlling, verbal or emotional), including threats and intimidation.
  • Work on keeping your anger in check and take the time to calm down before you approach your partner about something that upsets you.
  • Be more mindful of your words and how they can hurt others. Telling someone they are “stupid” or degrading them is hurtful and has lasting effects.
  • Learn to trust your significant other and control your jealousy. You cannot make someone love you.
  • Accept responsibility for your behavior. Remember that the use of violence in any form is always a choice that you make.
  • Do not make excuses for your violence or blame your partner for your abusive behavior.
  • Recognize that assaultive behavior is unacceptable and is a criminal act.
  • Seek professional help from a qualified counselor who is knowledgeable about partner abuse.
  • Alcohol, drug use or mental health problems are not excuses for abusive behavior. Seek appropriate help for these problems.

Step up and become part of the solution to end domestic violence, not contribute to it. Recognize that you need help dealing with your issues and it is okay to reach out to others for that help. It is the first step to making you a better person because love shouldn’t hurt.

Call 1-888-DV LINKS or The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to get the help you need (IN AN EMERGENCY CALL 911).